


The Beat in Between

by ThatwasJustaDream



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Ugh, angst up the yazoo, so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:52:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/pseuds/ThatwasJustaDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the "Cry Me a River" challenge on the 1_million_words comm, which asked for stories of characters horribly, completely alone. I apologize in advance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beat in Between

“Steve, it’s me. It’s Grace…” 

The voice on the answering machine went silent and then he heard her draw a long, shaky breath – half laughter and half tears. 

The laugh was because she’d realized how unnecessary it was, saying her name. 

The tears had been flowing all day.

“I’m so mad at you. I knew you’d scoot out at the end of the service. I … _get_ how hard this is for you. God….you _know_ I really do, but…”

He had hit ‘play’ on the way to the couch and was stretching out – head to one armrest, knees up, a hand massaging his own aching forehead.

“We lost him too. And I wish….I wish you wouldn’t…..”

Her voice fell to pieces over the last six words – got higher and tighter and little girl squeaky, and it was so fucking crushing hearing her hurting so much. Instinctively his arms found sofa pillows to pull in and he was sobbing into them silently – racking wave after wave that left him weak and shaking on his side.

“You shouldn’t stay there alone tonight. You know where we are, how to get here. We’re feeding the boys and then we’ll get them settled in and go sit on the lanai. Mom’s coming over, and Kono’s here, too. Please? Come stay with us?”

He heard the snap of the machine stopping and then nothing but the tick of a clock he’d forgotten was on the wall in the hallway. It wasn’t a clean tick, it had an extra half a dusty beat to each second like the gears were wobbly. Untended. An old clock in an old man’s house yards from an antique answering machine surrounded by furniture that hadn’t changed in …. thirty five years?

None of which he’d noticed in forever. 

He couldn’t do it, couldn’t go there. But he couldn’t go to bed yet, either. He went out back instead, and ditched his slippahs then his shirt and then his slacks as he walked to the water. 

The moon was three quarters full and halfway up. It filled his vision as he floated and remembered.

“I’m done,” Danny’s voice -- flat, and matter of fact. No self-pity and no room for argument. “We’ve tried everything and… I can’t. I physically can’t take any more. I’m done, babe.”

One month ago. One month, five days and…..seventeen hours. 

Steve floated and swam and floated until he reached the point he was looking for: the moment when he barely had it in him to get back to the beach.

Then he pulled himself up the lawn, picking up his clothes mindlessly as he went, purposefully not looking at the chairs. 

He was going to have to get rid of the chairs and buy new ones. There was no way in hell he could ever….

He fell into their bed, and his limbs naturally slid into the position that was most usual – flat out on his back, an arm and a leg reaching and…..

…finding nothing.

Just cool sheets and empty space.

He could still hear the clock in the hall, but from up here all that was audible was the sharp tick of each second. The extra, whirring half a beat in between? He knew it was still there - but it was lost to him.


End file.
